Singleness after divorce

By Azalea Smith

I never entered marriage with the thought that it would end in divorce. I married at the age of 21 and by age 31, I was newly single. My two sons were eight and six at the time. I will be honest, it was the worst time in my life. Anxiety crept in and I started wondering what was next for me.

I loved being married and always had the desire to be a wife and mother. God granted me that desire. The first three years it was just me and my husband. That third year is when my eldest son was born and less than two years later my second son came along. Life was good, but things started to unravel little by little.

It was during the winter of the year 2000 that I found myself and my children moving back home with my mother. I praise God for my mother. She’s the one who laid a strong foundation of faith in me and my siblings as we were growing up. It was this faith that kept me during this time.

During the next two years, my estranged husband and I tried to salvage our marriage. However, due to our different beliefs and other irreconcilable differences, our marriage of ten years ended in divorce.

Now this is when I really found out what I was made of. Every aspect of my life changed and it seemed to happen all at once. Where there were two incomes it became one. Where there was a healthy sex life there was none. The feeling of security that I once received from my husband was gone. The dissipation of friendships starts occurring and you start to receive unwarranted advice from well-meaning saints. Mentally, it was a lot. This is when I decided I needed help. I attended Divorce Care, a ministry to help Christians through separation and divorce. I went to my church home and started counseling as well as used EAP at my place of work.

After much prayer, counseling, love and assistance from my family, I finally was able to see some hope. I started to meet new friends, participate in ministry, started a baking business and invested in my sons.

I will say things were still hard through the years but I didn’t give up. I’ve gone through losing my home, the passing of my mother and two sisters, credit being shot, unemployed and seeing my ex-husband remarry.

Nevertheless…BUT GOD!

I am now an empty nester with two awesome & successful young men as sons. I have an awesome family. I have two great church families. I am at peace with my singleness and I’m looking forward to the man God will place in my life for the next season.

Azalea Smith is a single woman with two grown sons, Bakari & Rahiim Smith. Outside of working at Paychex, she volunteers. She volunteers in the Seniors Ministry, Children’s Ministry and Jail Ministry at her church home, Greater Adams Street Church of God by Faith in Rochester, NY. In her free time she loves baking, spending time with her family and god-daughters.