The Right Friends

By Tiffany Nicole

For those of us who are single, we are often told to focus on ourselves and healing from the last relationship. While this is true, friendships during our single days play a significant role in the next part of our journey. Seems odd I’m sure, but there is a need for the right friends in each facet of life. It is great to have single friends to share the same road with you because they know exactly how you feel and what you’re experiencing; but it doesn’t just stop there. We need married friends, divorced friends, engaged friends and dating friends. Each one of them offer a different insight in this thing we call love. They are able to share from experience what it truly means to be in each specific role. Certainly, most do not go into marriages with the option of divorce on the table. Yet that divorced friend can share what NOT to do in marriage, how to handle the rough patch in relationships without totally giving up. The married friend serves as a role model and living example of what we can expect in a marriage, although every marriage is not the same. You can get a general idea of what it would be like. The married friend’s role subconsciously helps you to prepare for married life while waiting for your husband. Most of us have gotten accustomed to it just being us and not having to consider someone else in our decision making. The engaged friend can be tricky because she’s super excited and may get a little annoying, but she gives you hope as to what is to come during this stage of your love life. She gives you a front row seat in the preparation not just for the wedding but as a wife. She is the example for the uncomfortable conversations that needs to take place, the roles each person will play in the household, the marriage counseling, and plans for a future family. Every intricate detail is planned and discussed giving a person insight on what to do in preparation for that day and new stage of your life. The engaged friend also gives you the fears of what life will be like as a new wife and the small insecurities she may share about stepping into that role. Then there’s the role we know best, the dating friend. This is the role we can very closely relate to. Why? Because we are choosing to date someone based on our lists, preference, and past relationships. The dating friend serves as a mirror for us. It shows us what areas we can work on as far as emotionally, mentally and financially. This friend acts as a reminder that we are still single and we shouldn’t be committing or being loyal to a partner that has not CLEARLY made intentions on being solely committed to you and only you! So often we find ourselves playing the committed role without even knowing it. Being faithful to words without actions and so freely giving our bodies away without having them prove to be worthy of that access. The dating friend also reminds us to be free and vulnerable and not afraid of vulnerability with the right person. However, even if the person isn’t the right person, vulnerability teaches us a valuable lesson, it teaches us how to open up as well. That opening up is a freeing experience that teaches us how to set boundaries and stick by those boundaries when we’re dating. Each friend serves a significant purpose in our life and give us important advice and lessons if we choose to be the student.

Tiffany Nicole is a full time blogger and founder of The Diary of a Curvy Girl. She also owns a custom shoe business, Couture Creations and is the co-founder of the radio show, The Queen Code on 100.9 WXIR.