What does it mean for me to be a #SDBC?
By Ebony Nicole Smith
Single – Singleness wasn’t always my friend. I hated it for so long because the desire to be a wife and mother weighed heavy on me. Every where, and I do mean everywhere, I looked there was a newly engaged friend, Instagram post or Facebook update. Then when I turned to look another way, there was an announcement of a pending baby, a baby bump or gender reveal, baby shower covering my page. The desire was so strong that I would accept anything from any man that remotely seemed like a compatible mate aka husband material. After repeated “heart attacks” (emotional hurt and pain that lead to a bitter heart), and through the process of surrendering everything I am, all that I desired I allowed God to save me…again. He saved me in my singleness. He captured me by my heart, uprooted everything that caused the tree of bitterness to flourish and gave me a new desire…a desire to want, need and to commit fully to Him. He taught me how to love on a level I’ve never been on. Since then, the desire to marry is still here but it’s only through Him do I want it. Through Him have I found a love that is new and incomparable. I found me in Him in my singleness.
Dope – I’ve never wanted to be a standout person. I would often down play my accomplishments, my goals and dreams to be sure to NOT stand out. I felt that if I did then I would lose friends, be counted as “doing too much.” I didn’t want all eyes on me. That was until I learned that I was created to stand out, to be a light on hill not underneath the bed, to be the salt of the world and to have dominion over everything in my path. I had to embrace my dopeness. I had to let the light of God shine through the works of my hands, the words that I speak and the way I live. My dopeness overpowered every single fear I had of being great. It has helped me to become bold in my walk with Christ, my love for His people and to accept myself as I am knowing and believing that the best of who am I is now with more to come later.
Black – Black is the color of night. The face of fear. The darkest of souls. The strength of greatness. The depth of a love that has no measure. The reason why I scream from the hill top, “I’m black and I’m proud.” The cries of my spirit when words aren’t enough. The beating of the drums of my heart when words aren’t available. It is the beauty I see in myself, my mother, my sisters, my nieces, my aunts, my cousins, and in my friends. It is the hope I have in my husband. The deep tones I await to hear in the cries of my children. It is the food my grandparents prepared. The hands that held mine when I needed guidance. It is the footsteps that never disappeared even when the sands of time swept across them. It is the writing of my pen. The typing with my fingers. The books I create. The thoughts that I read. The dreams I see when I sleep and when awake. My black is my skin that covered me for years and will be mine until I die.
Chick – If I could count my blessing it would be that I am a single dope black CHICK that has proved nay-sayers wrong, kept her cool under pressure and held her head up high when others would have hung it down low. Understanding, learning, appreciating who I am, to Whom I belong had helped this SDBC be the best to date… I’m outdoing the Ebony Nicole from years ago, that the lack of confidence and low self-esteem kept me from seeing how amazing I could be if I only believed. To me, I’m that CHICK. I’m that CHICK that loves her life, her family and friends, her path that her Jesus laid out for her and that CHICK that can do and accomplish anything through her Jesus.
I’m that SINGLE DOPE BLACK CHICK.
Sound off, ladies! What does being a #SDBC mean to you? Send us a message and tell us about YOU at singledopeblackchick@gmail.com.
Ebony Nicole Smith is the CEO of Ebony Nicole Smith Consulting, LLC, an author, publisher, transformational speaker and writing coach. She lives in Rochester with her family and travels the world with her heart.