Dating is like job searching at a car dealership
By April Franklin
Earlier this spring, I was in the trenches of my career transition. A few days before I accepted a great job offer, I totaled my car. Through the experience of looking for both a new job and a new vehicle, I have realized that process is very similar to finding a partner/boyfriend/husband. I have come to this conclusion for these reasons below.
1. The ones that you want you cannot have.
The car you want is out of your budget. Your dream company you want to work for finds you inexperienced and unqualified. Or in both cases, the position or vehicle is unavailable. We all have experienced this when the guy you think you deserve is not interested or is with someone else.
2. The ones that are left, you don't want.
Am I the only one that feels that most men that approach me don't meet my standards? I received a job offer for a position that I felt would have been rewarding, yet the pay didn't align with what I needed. It's not hard to make a decision when you know what you’re worthy of having. The job, car, or man could be ideal, but what you are willing to pay/sacrifice to have it? Most importantly, you deserve to have what you want, and it is okay not to accept the first thing offered. Contrary to unpopular belief, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards.
3. You have to leave your house.
I couldn’t get a job or car just filling out applications online from my sofa. I had to make the time to go to job fairs and car dealerships and talk to strangers. It's not that easy, but at the same time it’s not that hard. Finding a job is a job, and no one was going to gift me a car. In the same sense, you can’t expect your husband to just show up on your doorstep ready to get married.
In both cases, with my job and car I needed to put myself out there and be very direct with people by telling them exactly what I wanted. I told people where I was at, what I position I was looking for, and what I was willing to do to be considered. To avoid being played at car dealerships, I had to come in prepared knowing exactly which cars I wanted to look at and what rate I needed for them to get my business. Do you see where I am going here?
So right now I’m trying to see something. I had to learn the power of networking, do my research and be prepared to talk to people I didn’t know to get what I wanted. Can I apply those same tactics to landing my potential partner?
Reentering the dating market, I am not in the business of wasting my time and feelings. So when I meet a man I make sure I tell him directly that I am looking for a relationship. He may not be know which position he is applying for if you don’t make it clear from the beginning. For me this is a dual process to see if his “company” culture aligns with mine. I’m taking applications as I submit my own. I am making sure I know the job description and being clear to the potential what it is that I expect. And once the application is submitted, you always have to follow up. If a guy shows interest and fails to follow through his application ends up in the rejection pile. As attention loving as I may be, I am not afraid if someone walks away
I have recently been taking applications and looking at resumes from different job pools, some in person, online and on dating apps. So how has the “boo” market been treating me so far? I’ll let you all know in my next SDBC post. So until next month stay tuned, stay fly, and stay dope.
April Franklin is self-proclaimed “older millennial” that doesn’t associate with younger millennials. She is a mother of two equally silly kids that rightfully take after their mother. After working nearly 13 years in healthcare, she got her B.S. in Journalism and made a career switch to media. She is now a reporter and local host of WXXI’s Weekend Edition in Rochester NY. April is also one third of the podcast “Kisses and Conversations,” that explore black men and relationships.